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Who is most important? Self or Others?

As mentioned in a previous post the art of collaboration is turning conflict into a positive force.  To some people the mere mention of the word CONFLICT is a negative that should be avoided at all costs.  To others CONFLICT is exciting and creates an adrenalin rush!  How then do we find a balance, a fulcrum point on this spectrum?  A space, where CONFLICT is welcomed and the energy is used to drive forward a creative process?

A useful way of finding this fulcrum point is to value yourself and others equally.  In a collaborative setting the outcome is the solution, the process of achieving the outcome is fluid.  The key is engaging with others to drive the ideas and contributions generated by the group to a point where the creative tension gives rise to the synergistic solution.  This process works when all individuals within the group are able to de-personalise ideas.  Ideas are not people and people are not their ideas.  By all means challenge the idea and respect the person contributing the idea.  Equally, be open to your ideas being challenged and respect the person challenging your idea.

De-personalising an idea from the person contributing the idea is a key principle.  This creates the environment of TRUST where collaboration develops. In conflict management respecting the other person’s model of the world is a foundation to success.  By INTEGRATING a high regard for others with an equally high regard for self, you will be response-able for ensuring all contributions are considered within the overall outcome of the group.  Doing this will ensure that all members of the group are able to contribute and that all views are heard.

Where an individual has a higher regard for themselves over their regard for others, this may well lead to this individual attempting to DOMINATE the group and they may not take too kindly to having their ideas challenged.  Equally, at the same time, where an individual has a higher regard for others over their regard for themselves this may lead to that individual OBLIGING to every suggestion from others without ever contributing their own ideas.  Where an individual prefers to withdraw from situations such as these its may well be that this individual has an equally low regard for others and self.  AVOIDING this process only leads to greater and more destructive conflict at a later date.

In a collaborative relationship, the answer to the question in the title to this post, both self and others are equally important.

I would like to acknowledge ‘Styles of Handling Interpersonal Conflict (Rahim & Magner, 1995, p.123) in the compilation of this blog.

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Sustaining the collaborative mindset

In a previous post I touched upon the behaviours associated with the different levels on the maturity continuum.

At the level of Dependency you tend to see Collusive behaviours.  Rather than challenge ideas and processes a dependent individual seeks to avoid risk and conflict in order that their survival is assured.

At the level of Independence the desire for status, recognition and reward drives behaviours that enable the individual to stand out from others.  We see Competitive behaviours.

At the level of Interdependence the quest is for the synergistic solution, a solution that requires the combined efforts of a group and so we see Collaborative behaviours.

What happens when the group searching for the synergistic solution gets into difficulties, when the level of challenge and conflict within the group may get a little too intense? Could it be that rather than choosing to give the response that keeps collaboration alive, an instinct / reactive response is given to a stimulus such as someone challenging an idea?  An instinctive / reactive response is not a PROACTIVE response.

If a group abandons collaborative behaviour the only place to go is back to the competitive behaviours.  When this happens you will see defensive behaviours, blaming, judging emerge.  The group breaks down and the competitive individuals can emerge and seek to dominate proceedings.

How do you sustain the collaborative mindset – where the output of the group is greater than any individual?

The art of collaboration is turning conflict into a positive force – in the spark of conflict lives creativity.  I’ve already discussed the concept of being RESPONSE-ABLE and choosing to be PROACTIVE.  A useful paradigm to help with this is PERCEPTION IS PROJECTION.  Essentially, this maxim suggests that what we perceive in other people is merely a reflection of our own self, otherwise how would we recognize a behaviour in someone else.  Acting as if this is true helps keep relationships collaborative, if making judgments about others (defensive behaviour or competitive behaviour is based upon judgments) is merely describing your own behaviour, why bother?

Being RESPONSE-ABLE and recognising that every behaviour has a positive intention and can be used to propel the group to a synergistic outcome is the way to sustain the collaborative mindset.

In future blogs I will explore more of the attitudes and beliefs that help sustain the collaborative mindset.

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Collaborating through Interdependence…the Mindset (2)

In my previous post I described the choice that is made to be Interdependent and to collaborate.  This choice is the foundation stone of all effective relationships (interdependent collaborative relationships being the most effective form of relationship you can have).

Having made the choice, sustaining the choice is the next step.  In my last blog I used the phrase ‘RESPONSE-ABLE’.  I’d like to expand on this phrase during this blog today.

In any relationship stuff is going to happen, its inevitable!  What’s important is not that stuff happens, its how you choose to deal with what’s happening that makes the difference.  How well you choose to respond is what will build your credibility in the relationship and this will build the trust in the relationship.  With a high level of trust in your relationship collaboration will work.

So am I saying here that your effectiveness in collaboration is simply based upon following through on your initial choice to be PROACTIVE and to be the CAUSE of your own SUCCESS?  Yes I am.

Why be RESPONSE-ABLE?

Conditioning plays a major role in all our decisions and to a large extent we behave in ways that have been practiced over many years.  Our behaviour patterns become habits, the result of conditioning.  When something happens, by this I mean when someone says something, does something etc, this is a STIMULUS.  When a stimulus is applied we respond.  It is in the RESPONSE where you make a difference!

In the animal world a specific stimulus generates a specific response.  Animals tend not to have the mental capacity to choose a different response, unless they have been trained to give another ‘specific’ response.  As humans we have the mental capacity to choose our response.  Between STIMULUS and RESPONSE there is a space: the CHOICE space.  It is in this space where you can choose your response to whatever stimulus has been applied.  This is where you can be RESPONSE-ABLE.

Being proactive is being response-able.  Choosing to be open to responding to whatever stimuli present themselves to you in such a way as to stay focused on your outcome is vital to your success.  In collaborative relationships there will be ample opportunities for you to practice this ability.  Your collaboration partners (and you on occasion) will behave in ways that create the opportunity for proactivity to be challenged.  Remember, your interpretation of events is your choice and response-ability.  What people do is merely what people do, what you choose to do with what people do is entirely your choice.

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Collaborating through Interdependence…the Mindset (1)

So if the essential pre-requisite for collaboration is the mindset of INTERDEPENDENCE, how then do you achieve that mindset?

As discussed in my previous blog being Interdependent is a choice that independent people can make.  The important aspect is the ‘choice’ itself.

By choosing INTERDEPENDENCE and seeking to be COLLABORATIVE in your behaviour a number of fundamental attitudes and thinking patterns automatically begin to be important.  It is whether you are able to stay true to these attitudes and thinking patterns that will determine if your behaviour is collaborative and whether you sustain an interdependent relationship.

So what are the attitudes and thinking patterns?

It all starts with a choice.  To make a positive choice is to be PROACTIVE.  Stephen R. Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, states that the first Habit (the one from which all else follows) is BE PROACTIVE.  This is more than just choosing to do something or have something or be something.  It is about accepting responsibility for everything that stems from your choice.  You are the creator of everything that flows from the choices you make about yourself in the world.  So take a proactive approach to life and be response-able.

Another way that this may be interpreted is to be at CAUSE in your life.  Accept that you are the cause of your life.  If you choose not to be the CAUSE in your life then you find yourself at EFFECT and someone else is responsible for whatever is happening to you.  Being at EFFECT is not a good place to be, it’s where reasons and excuses (reasons being sophisticated excuses) are given as to why you could not be successful. It’s about blame.  That is not going to work in a collaborative environment.

So Be Proactive, be the Cause of your own Success.

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The Starting Point for Collaboration

Lets be clear here, if there is just one of you there is no collaboration.

So on the basis that collaboration requires at least two parties there is an essential pre-requisite that has to be fully developed within the mindset of all potential collaborators!

This is not the joint outcome, nor it is the Relationship Management Plan. It’s not even the potential gain to be made as a result of working collaboratively and delivering extra value for the client. The essential pre-requisite is none of the above.

On the basis that two or more parties are choosing to collaborate to find a synergistic solution to a deliver a client’s objective the essential pre-requisite is the attitude of the collaborators to each other.

The best way I can think of describing what I mean here is the Maturity Continuum as described by Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his best selling work, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’.

For a collaborative relationship to be effective the essential pre-requisite is that all parties come from an INTERDEPENDENCE mindset.  Choosing to be INTERDEPENDENT is a choice only INDEPENDENT people can make.  People that have achieved INDEPENDENCE in life may see this level of achievement as the ultimate, as having achieved Self-Mastery.  The fact that two or more INDEPENDENT people can achieve something much greater by choosing to be INTERDEPENDENT is a revelation to most.

Before a person achieves INDEPENDENCE they are in a state of DEPENDENCE where they rely on others for what they require to exist.  A DEPENDENT person cannot operate from a mindset of INTERDEPENDENCE as they have not developed the character of an INDEPENDENT person.

This is important in the field of Collaborative Behaviour as with each level of maturity comes a set of behaviours.

People that are Dependent tend to demonstrate COLLUSIVE behaviours.  These people rely on others for what they need and hence they go along with what others want, not wanting to rock the boat for fear of depriving themselves of a livelihood.

People that are Independent tend to demonstrate COMPETITIVE behaviours.  These people have the confidence to put themselves forward as being able to deliver a solution and believe they have the resources to compete against others to ensure they win the race.

People that are Interdependent tend to demonstrate COLLABORATIVE behaviours.  These people recognise that by choosing to collaborate with others a truly synergistic solution can be delivered.  These people recognise that by working effectively with others the synergistic solution is far greater than anything they could deliver by themselves.

Being INTERDEPENDENT and being COLLABORATIVE is a choice made by independent people that truly understand there is only so much that can be achieved by themselves – true greatness and success lies in working effectively with others.

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Collaboration

Collaboration is working with each other to do a task and to achieve shared goals. It is a recursive process where two or more people or organisations work together to realize shared goals, (this is more than the intersection of common goals seen in co-operative ventures, but a deep, collective determination to reach an identical objective) — for example, an endeavour that is creative in nature —by sharing knowledge, learning and building consensus. In particular, teams that work collaboratively can obtain greater resources, recognition and reward when facing competition for finite resources. (Thanks Wikipedia!) The challenge of collaboration is staying focused on the greater shared goal.  Conflict over different approaches, different ideas, competitive pressures will surface.  Dealing positively with conflict is the art of collaboration.  Consider if you will a member of a team with a strong belief in their way of doing things.  Their belief is so strong that any challenge to their way of doing things is usually a source of great tension within the team.  This is not a helpful trait when it comes to collaboration.  A useful matrix to consider when looking to build a collaborative team is how the members of your team view themselves and others. If you have a high regard for yourself and a low level of regard for others, this will not be helpful in a collaborative relationship. If you have low regard for yourself and a high level of regard for others, this will also not be very helpful in a collaborative relationship. If ‘people’ including yourself are just not that important to you, this will not be very helpful in a collaborative relationship. Collaborative relationships work best when an individual values themselves and  others equally highly. Seek First Ltd specialise in developing the behaviours and language that build self-awareness (your regard for you), behaviours and language that build an understanding of others (how you regard others), behaviours and language that develop your influencing skills and behaviours and language that lead to effective collaborative action. Over the coming months this blog will go into more details about collaborative behaviour and language.  Our first Collaborative Behaviour Practitioner programme will be taking place in London this Autumn.  Contact us now for more information. email: listen@seekfirst.co.uk phone: 07740506667

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Engage, Listen, Develop, Collaborate.

Collaborative Behaviour + collaborative processes = Collaborative working

Seek First Ltd exists to develop the behaviours and language that underpin collaborative business relationships.

Why is this important?

When organisations collaborate effectively significant value can be created for their clients.  Increasingly, organisations are being asked to demonstrate how effectively they collaborate with their partner organisations to deliver value for their clients.  With the introduction of BS11000 organisations can now be assessed against the accepted standard for business processes that underpin their approach to collaboration.

Seek First exists to support organisations develop the behaviours and language that will support the processes required by BS11000.  Whilst BS11000 specifies the organizational processes necessary for effective collaborative relationships between organisations the standard does not develop the behaviours and language that will embed the culture of collaboration.

This blog will develop over the coming months to highlight the behaviours and language of collaboration.  We will give insights into the development programmes that we offer that will develop the culture of collaboration within your organisation.

Feel free to contact us to discuss how we can assist you on your journey towards greater collaboration.

Email: listen@seekfirst.co.uk

Phone: 07740506667

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Who is most important? Self or Others?

As mentioned in a previous post the art of collaboration is turning conflict into a positive force.  To some people the mere mention of the word CONFLICT is a negative that should be avoided at all costs.  To others CONFLICT is exciting and creates an adrenalin rush!  How then do we find a balance, a fulcrum point on this spectrum?  A point where CONFLICT is welcomed and the energy is used to drive forward a creative process?

A useful way of finding this fulcrum point is to value yourself and others equally.  In a collaborative setting the outcome is the solution, the process of achieving the outcome is fluid.  The key is engaging with others to drive the ideas and contributions generated by the group to a point where the creative tension gives rise to the synergistic solution.  This process works when all individuals within the group are able to de-personalise ideas.  Ideas are not people and people are not their ideas.  By all means challenge the idea and respect the person contributing the idea.  Equally, be open to your ideas being challenged and respect the person challenging your idea.

De-personalising an idea from the person contributing the idea is a key principle.  This creates the environment of TRUST where collaboration develops. In conflict management respecting the other person’s model of the world is a foundation to success.  By INTEGRATING a high regard for others with an equally high regard for self, you will be response-able for ensuring all contributions are considered within the overall outcome of the group.  Doing this will ensure that all members of the group are able to contribute and that all views are heard.  

Where an individual has a higher regard for themselves over their regard for others may well lead to this individual attempting to DOMINATE the group and may not take too kindly to having their ideas challenged.  Equally, at the same time, where an individual has a higher regard for others over their regard for themselves this may lead to that individual OBLIGING to every suggestion from others without ever contributing their own ideas.  Where an individual prefers to withdraw from situations such as these its may well be that this individual has an equally low regard for others and self.  AVOIDING this process only leads to greater and more destructive conflict at a later date.

In a collaborative relationship the answer to the question in the title to this post is both self and others are equally important.

I would like to acknowledge ‘Styles of Handling Interpersonal Conflict (Rahim & Magner, 1995, p.123) in the compilation of this blog.

 

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Sustaining the collaborative mindset

In a previous post I touched upon the behaviours associated with the different levels on the maturity continuum.

At the level of Dependency you tend to see Collusive behaviours.  Rather than challenge ideas and processes a dependent individual seeks to avoid risk and conflict in order that their survival is assured.

At the level of Independence the desire for status, recognition and reward drives behaviours that enable the individual to stand out from others.  We see Competitve behaviours.  

At the level of Interdependence the quest is for the synergistic solution, a solution that requires the combined efforts of a group and so we see Collaborative behaviours.

What happens when the group searching for the synergistic solution get into difficulties, when the level of challenge and conflict within the group may get a little too intense? Could it be that rather than choosing to give the response that keeps collaboration alive, an instinct / reactive response is given to a stimulus such as a someone challenging an idea?  An instinctive / reactive response is not a PROACTIVE response.

If a group abandons collaborative behaviour the only place to go is back to the competitive behaviours.  When this happens you will see defensive behaviours, blaming, judging emerge.  The group breaks down and the competitive individuals can emerge and seek to dominate proceedings.

How do you sustain the collaborative mindset – where the output of the group is greater than any individual?

The art of collaboration is turning conflict into a positive force – in the spark of conflict lives creativity.  I’ve already discussed the concept of being RESPONSE-ABLE and choosing to be PROACTIVE.  A useful paradigm to help with this is PERCEPTION IS PROJECTION.  Essentially, this maxim suggest that what we perceive in other people is merely a reflection of our own self, otherwise how would we recognise a behaviour in someone else.  Acting as if this true helps keep relationships collaborative, if making judgments about others (defensive behaviour or competitive behaviour is based upon judgments) is merely describing your own behaviour, why bother?  Being RESPONSE-ABLE and recognising that every behaviour has a positive intention and can be used to propel the group to a synergistic outcome is the way to sustain the collaborative mindset.

In future blogs I will explore more of the attitudes and beliefs that help sustain the collaborative mindset.

Posted on

Collaborating through Interdependence…the Mindset (2)

In my previous post I described the choice that is made to be Interdependent and to collaborate.  This choice is the foundation stone of all effective relationships (interdependent collaborative relationships being the most effective form of relationship you can have).

Having made the choice, sustaining the choice is the next step.  In my last blog I used the phrase ‘RESPONSE-ABLE’.  I’d like to expand on this phrase during this blog today.

In any relationship stuff is going to happen, its inevitable!  What’s important is not that stuff happens, its how you choose to deal with what’s happening that makes the difference.  How well you choose to respond is what will build your credibility in the relationship and this will build the trust in the relationship.  With a high level of trust in your relationship collaboration will work.

So am I saying here that your effectiveness in collaboration is simply based upon following through on your initial choice to be PROACTIVE and to be the CAUSE of your own SUCCESS?  Yes I am.

Why be RESPONSE-ABLE?

Conditioning plays a major role in all our decisions and to a large extent we behave in ways that have been practised over many years.  Our behaviour patterns become habits, the result of conditioning.  When something happens, by this I mean when someone says something, does something etc, this is a STIMULUS.  When a stimulus is applied we respond.  It is in the RESPONSE where you make a difference!

In the animal world a specific stimulus always generates a specific response.  Animals tend not to have the mental capacity to choose a different response, unless they have been trained to give another ‘specific’ response.  As humans we have the mental capacity to choose our response.  Between STIMULUS and RESPONSE there is a space: the CHOICE space.  It is in this space where you can choose your response to whatever stimulus has been applied.  This is where you can be RESPONSE-ABLE.

Being proactive is being response-able.  Choosing to be open to responding to whatever stimuli present themselves to you in such a way as to stay focused on your outcome is vital to your success.  In collaborative relationships there will be ample opportunities for you to practice this ability.  Your collaboration partners (and you on occasion) will behave in ways that create the opportunity for proactivity to be challenged.  Remember, your interpretation of events is your choice and response-ability.  What people do is merely what people do, what you choose to do with what people do is entirely your choice.