In my previous post I described the choice that is made to be Interdependent and to collaborate. This choice is the foundation stone of all effective relationships (interdependent collaborative relationships being the most effective form of relationship you can have).
Having made the choice, sustaining the choice is the next step. In my last blog I used the phrase ‘RESPONSE-ABLE’. I’d like to expand on this phrase during this blog today.
In any relationship stuff is going to happen, its inevitable! What’s important is not that stuff happens, its how you choose to deal with what’s happening that makes the difference. How well you choose to respond is what will build your credibility in the relationship and this will build the trust in the relationship. With a high level of trust in your relationship collaboration will work.
So am I saying here that your effectiveness in collaboration is simply based upon following through on your initial choice to be PROACTIVE and to be the CAUSE of your own SUCCESS? Yes I am.
Why be RESPONSE-ABLE?
Conditioning plays a major role in all our decisions and to a large extent we behave in ways that have been practised over many years. Our behaviour patterns become habits, the result of conditioning. When something happens, by this I mean when someone says something, does something etc, this is a STIMULUS. When a stimulus is applied we respond. It is in the RESPONSE where you make a difference!
In the animal world a specific stimulus always generates a specific response. Animals tend not to have the mental capacity to choose a different response, unless they have been trained to give another ‘specific’ response. As humans we have the mental capacity to choose our response. Between STIMULUS and RESPONSE there is a space: the CHOICE space. It is in this space where you can choose your response to whatever stimulus has been applied. This is where you can be RESPONSE-ABLE.
Being proactive is being response-able. Choosing to be open to responding to whatever stimuli present themselves to you in such a way as to stay focused on your outcome is vital to your success. In collaborative relationships there will be ample opportunities for you to practice this ability. Your collaboration partners (and you on occasion) will behave in ways that create the opportunity for proactivity to be challenged. Remember, your interpretation of events is your choice and response-ability. What people do is merely what people do, what you choose to do with what people do is entirely your choice.